Fuckin' Weirdos

My work-week is 2/3 done, and I'm burnt out already on strange folk.

I arrive last night, and immediately this girl comes up to me (blonde, HUGE head, HUGE cold sore or something on her lip, in essence, just weird) and says...

Weird Girl: Heeeey, Mayor! (Yelling)

Me: Uh, hi. (Normal tone)

WG: I know you! (Still Yelling)

Me: okay... (Quieter, getting scared now...)

WG: from High School!

Me: uh, what's your name?

WG: Nicole!!

Me: Oh, okay, hi.

Now, I do not, cannot, or choose not to remember every single person I went to high school with, but I do not even vaguely remember this fool. So I'm trying to get my money situated and get behind the bar, and she's starting to annoy me...

Me: So you probably know BSOH? (He's there, sorry BSOH, had to throw you in front of the bus!)

WG: Oh yeah, HI!!

So I scurry off to do my shit, and she corners me again a few minutes later...

WG: Can I ask you something?

Me: (uh, oh, here we go) sure.

WG: Can you make me a VODKA drink? With lots of VODKA?

Now you don't need to be a bartender to know that there are 47,000 vodka drinks, and I don't know which one you are asking for, seriously, come on, can you be more fucking specific please??? And clearly since you have made the connection that I went to high school with you, you want a good one and you think you are gonna get the "Good Buddy" drink, or maybe a free drink? Think again, Nutbag. Rather than engage her in more conversation, I just make the first one that comes to mind. I give it to her and tell her it's $5.25.

WG: Five twenty fucking five?!?!

Here's my rule, you don't know what you want, clearly you want a strong one, so I will make you the most expensive one I can think of. If you weren't so clearly stupid, you would ask for specifics, IMO. That is your penance for being a tard.

Oh, and she doesn't tip, which makes what I'm about to do that much sweeter...

So BSOH and some of the girls are chatting and laughing, and she's trying to get into the conversation, to no avail...When it happens...

BSOH jokingly calls me a skank...Everyone laughs, including me, cause the context was funny and since we've been friends for 18 years he can do that.

WG: Hey Mayor, ya fuckin' Skanky Bitch!!!

A hush falls over the crowd, all eyes are on me.
She obviously does not realize she has made a grave error...

I calmly walk over to her, with a smile, and swipe her drink.

WG: Are you fucking kidding me??

Me: (as I'm dumping her five fucking twenty five drink down the sink) Nope.

WG: Well, can I at least get a refund?

Me: *evil laugh* Nope. Time for you to go. (still calm, still smiling)

She hangs around awkwardly for a minute, maybe waiting to see if it's all a big joke and I'm gonna make her another fabulous beverage, the when she realizes it's not happening, she leaves in a huff.

As soon as she's left, the whole bar is abuzz with how obnoxious she is, and what the fuck was on her lip anyway? and yadda-yadda...

Doing that makes Bartending worth the drama, I tell you what.