Monday, March 13, 2006

Dear Saddlebag McSharpie...(Hub's Ex Wife)


Although I think it's nice that after 5 years of dealing with you, we are finally civil, I find it a tad bit creepy that you would give us a Anniversary card. It's not as if we are all that close, yes, we get along, for T's sake, but are we BFF now? It's like saying, "Hey, I know we had a horrible marriage that didn't work out and essentially ruined our lives for a few years, but congrats that your next marriage is still intact"?

That's a little weird.

We all know you kept all the Hub's old concert and work t-shirts, and we are reminded of that every time we see you wearing one of them, still.

T told us about the fact that when Hub cut his long rocker hair off about, oh, 12 years ago, he brought home a pony tail, and you still have it.

Really? Ew.

Disturbing. Why is it that you tell me, "I love you!" every time we get off the phone? Hub thinks that you have set your sights on me now, which isn't really that far fetched, I am smokin' hot, (or will be again after a few months at the gym ;^) ) I don't tan myself to the point of looking like a fire victim, and I don't draw my eyebrows on with a black sharpie. I have that going for me, at least.

This is almost as creepy as the time you bought me too-small lingerie for Valentine's day, absolutely polluted in your cheap perfume.

Almost.

It's on thing to buy us a Christmas present, from T, but romantic holidays? Please refrain from even thinking about us, it's just bizarre.

I shall do the same.

Sincerely,

The Mayor

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gross. Perfumed soaked lingerie? Nasty.

Monday, March 13, 2006 8:10:00 AM  
Blogger John said...

Let's see, is there an HTML tag for "no sense of the appropriate?" Nope. Yeah, that was like when my Saddlebag wanted to be bestest buddies with The Mrs. Nope. Not gonna happen.

Monday, March 13, 2006 7:56:00 PM  
Blogger Some Random Girl said...

that skin is just nASTY!

Monday, March 13, 2006 9:59:00 PM  
Blogger The Mayor said...

Kissmequikly: I know, I swear it's true, I was horrified! Had to put on a smile for my stepdaughter, though!

LF: I AM way sluttier than you, thanks for telling everyone! ;^)

John: Does your Saddlebag send the wife lingerie?? More importantly, does her skin look like boot leather? I'm with LF on this one, let's hear all about it!!

SRG: That's what she'll look like in about 10 years if she keeps it up, she's only 37 now...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 8:10:00 AM  
Blogger Nihilistic said...

I so hope that isn't really her skin!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 7:22:00 PM  
Blogger mikster said...

Pretty damn odd I'd say. But hey...some people need their lil obsessions huh?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006 7:55:00 AM  
Blogger John said...

Ohhhh no! Not on your nuggets. Only Alaska things, and my Saddlebag ain't one of those!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006 8:07:00 PM  

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