Dear Skanky Clove Smoker...
Today was not the day to defy me. As you can see, I have 745 drunks to attend to, and you chose today to disobey my request.
When 67 of my patrons ask me to ask you to please extinguish your clove cigarette because it smells like shit, I must comply.
I asked you nicely. Once.
15 minutes later, you are holding your still lit clove under the bar. Okay, you're right, I can't see it. But I can still smell the stench that is wafting up from your sneaky hand.
Yes, I grabbed a glass of water.
I could've asked you again to put it out, but since I'm PMS city, I didn't feel like asking twice. Much like with my children, having to nag you pisses me off.
So you were chatting away, thinking you had pulled one over, and I walked around the bar and douched your hand with water.
It wasn't my intention to get your Payless Shoe Source tacky pink sandals wet, and for that, I apologize.
Your next mistake was screaming at me about the fact that I threw water on your feet. Yes, I know I did.
Your clove cigarette is out now, isn't it? That was my goal.
Arguing with your bartender is a huge no no, as I'm sure you realized when you were standing in the parking lot, wet hand and feet, after I told you, "Buh Bye".
Sincerely,
The Mayor
When 67 of my patrons ask me to ask you to please extinguish your clove cigarette because it smells like shit, I must comply.
I asked you nicely. Once.
15 minutes later, you are holding your still lit clove under the bar. Okay, you're right, I can't see it. But I can still smell the stench that is wafting up from your sneaky hand.
Yes, I grabbed a glass of water.
I could've asked you again to put it out, but since I'm PMS city, I didn't feel like asking twice. Much like with my children, having to nag you pisses me off.
So you were chatting away, thinking you had pulled one over, and I walked around the bar and douched your hand with water.
It wasn't my intention to get your Payless Shoe Source tacky pink sandals wet, and for that, I apologize.
Your next mistake was screaming at me about the fact that I threw water on your feet. Yes, I know I did.
Your clove cigarette is out now, isn't it? That was my goal.
Arguing with your bartender is a huge no no, as I'm sure you realized when you were standing in the parking lot, wet hand and feet, after I told you, "Buh Bye".
Sincerely,
The Mayor
posted by The Mayor @6/15/2006 09:02:00 AM
5 Comments:
Ahhhh, there's the Mayor, back in rare form!
LOL!
Ahh, the days of booting people out of my bar .... *sigh* ... good times!
I LOVE YOU.
This so reminds me of the time you and I went through the Taco Bell drive thru in Milwaukie and had a shitty burrito and they would not address our concerns and ignored us. So what could we do?
We opened that burrito up and plastered the mess all over the outside of their drive thru window!
TAKE THAT BITCHES!
...another thing I just thought of.
WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?
God damnit you do what your told!
Will: I thought about it, but wanted to keep my job. ;^)
Katie: I do something mean everyday, I just haven't been posting them!
j: I like to kick people out just for looking at me wrong, I'm addicted to power! Muhaha!
DogMa: OMG you should totally post that story!
DaTilla: I know you, so I wouldn't take you seriously. All my friends act like idiots at one point or another, and the worst I've done is cut them off...
DogMa: Damn right! Don't you know who I am, Beeotch?
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