Mayor of Fired City

Yes, folks, that's me. For refusing to serve my raging alcoholic boss (and owner of the bar) I have been fired. Sorta. I think.

Let's take it from the top, shall we?

My boss and his wife are raging alcoholics. Skip back a few months, I'm sure you find something there about them, I'm too emotionally bankrupt to search for shit to link, so take my word for it, mm'kay?

Anywho, I got a phone call tonight from said wife, and she asked me not to serve said Boss, who was on his way down to the bar, drunker than shit.

"I'll get fired if I don't serve him!"

"No you won't, I'll back you up, and if you do serve him, it's illegal, since he's already drunk."

Damned if I do, damned if I don't, right?

So he shows up, drunk, and I beeline to the opposite end of the bar.

If he doesn't see me, he'll forget he wants a drink, right?

Nice try.

So about 15 minutes of me avoiding him, he says, "Where's my Vino?" in the loudest voice possible.

So I discreetly pull him aside and tell him I don't feel comfortable serving him. Did not tell him that his wife called and told me not to serve him, because being the noble person I am, didn't want her to get her ass beat. Yep, I said it.

"You know, I don't feel comfortable serving you tonight."

"Why?"

"Because I think you've had enough and I'm worried about you getting home safely."

His eyes turn to icy blue daggers...

"SERVE ME."

"No."

"You're the bartender, you're the boss."

Phew, right? Dodged that bullet, right? Yeah, for about 39 seconds till he had time to process...

"Well, if you're not gonna serve me, don't serve your mother then!!!"

Wh-wh-what??

Seriously, what the fuck does that have to do with the price of rice, fool?

He grabs his keys and leaves, but comes back 10 seconds later and wants to talk to me in the kitchen.

Now, everyone knows he does his best screaming in the kitchen, so at this point I think I'm pretty much screwed.

"This bar better be fucking spotless in the morning, I came in this morning and it was trashed!!!"

"But I didn't work last night!"

"I always know when you work, this bar was TRASHED!"

Um, hi. What the fuck? The dumb bitch that bartends on Saturday night is standing there cocktailing for me tonight, and she's the idiot that can't clean, not me.

I figure I better keep my mouth shut and he'll leave and it will be over.

Then the phone calls start.

"Bar, this is Mayor, how may I help you?"

"My sister is in there watching you, she's wondering what the fuck you are doing!"

click.

"Bar, this is Mayor."

"You better not serve your mother, that bar better be spotless!! Why wouldn't you serve me, I had dinner with my folks!"

click.

As if dinner with your folks automatically makes you sober? I swear, he's a 10 year old in a 54 year old's body.

"Bar, this is Mayor."

"I'm coming down there RIGHT NOW, and you better be gone!"

Nuff said. I grabbed my shit and left.

I'm showing up tomorrow for my regular shift, if he's gonna fire me, he can do it to my face...